A Mets fan, a Yankees fan and a Giants fan walk into a bar…

Each sporting the t-shirts of their favorite players: a David Wright shirt for the Mets fan, an Alex Rodriguez shirt for the Yanks fan and a smelly, bong water stained Tim Lincecum shirt for the Giants fan.

Mets fan: Dude, when is the last time you washed your shirt?

Giants fan: An hour ago (giggles).

Yankees fan: You can enjoy your World Series ring but if the Yankees didn’t lose to Texas, we woulda swept you.

Giants fan: What makes you say that?

Yankees fan: Because we have 27 rings.

Giants fan: And that means…

Yankees fan: We’re automatically more awesome than everyone in the league.

Mets fan: That’s nice. I tell you, this is definitely the year the Mets win the division, knocking off those Filthydelphia Filthies.

Giants fan: Hehehe you said Filthy…

Yankees fan: Yea, like your shirt, you hippie lover.

Mets fan: Why are you such a snob?

Yankees fan: Because we are the greatest fan base in the world and A-Rod is the greatest player in the world. Don’t you know that many Yankees fans have paintings of themselves as centaurs? I betcha I can get any girl in here to hand-feed me popcorn and hold my Michelob Ultra to my lips… Hey sweetie, feed me popcorn!

Female Phillies fan: Drop dead.

Yankees fan: See that, guys? She totally wanted me.

Mets fan: Right, like Derek Jeter wanted A-Rod…

Yankees fan: Mmmmm Jeter….

Giants fan: Hehehehehe.

Mets fan: Seriously? What is so funny?

Giants fan: You like the Mets hehehe.

Mets fan: Pot smoking hippie…

Giants fan: What’s wrong with pot? Timmy Lincecum smokes pot and he’s a two-time Cy Young award winner, World Champion and oh his hair is super gorgeous.

Yankees fan: God you San Fran people are creepy.

Bartender: Alright guys, what can I get you?

Mets fan: Yuengling.

Yankees fan: Another Mich Ultra for me.

Giants fan: Water.

Bartender: Why water?

Giants fan: Cotton mouth.

Bartender: Coming right up. So guys, who do you think will win the World Series this year?

Yankees fan: Isn’t it obvious? 28 baby!

Giants fan: I think we have a good chance. Timmy will bring us back there. Oh and his hair is gorgeous…

Mets fan: The Phillies.

The Yankees and Giants fans turn to each other, obviously puzzled.

Yankees fan: I thought earlier you said…

Mets fan: Yea I was trying to act tough. Deep down inside I really am just jealous of the Phillies and my hatred towards them means I’m a coward who can’t admit that they are just so much more awesome than my Amazing Mets.

The Mets fan drops his head on the bar and starts crying.

Yankees fan: That’s just sad.

Giants fan: Hehehehe.

Mets fan: Oh what now?

Giants fan: You’re sad.

Bartender: Here you go guys. What the hell is his problem?

Yankees fan: He just realized baseball season is only two months away and the Mets are already in September form.

Bartender: Hey buddy…

Mets fan picks his head up

Bartender: Cheer up. It’s okay. Just thank your lucky stars you’re not an Islanders fan too.

The Mets fan sobs even harder.

Bartender: Ah well. Go Phillies!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: